Now, this may come as a shock to those of you who don’t know me in any way, shape, or form, but I didn’t always want to be a lawyer. In fact, I’m still not 100% positive that I DO want to be a lawyer. Unlike a few future/current law students I’ve talked to these last few months, I haven’t known that I wanted to be a lawyer since the ripe old age of 8. (I have, however, gone through a serious struggle of figuring out what I want to do and be since I was 8. That’s basically the same thing right? [Seriously guys, I did massage therapy college, I was initially an animal sciences major and then I was a horticulture major – which was such a bad idea – and then I moved into child development before finally landing on English. I struggle figuring out what I want to do.]) I graduated this last July with my Bachelor’s in English, and essentially the plan was for me to be an editor (like Sandra Bullock in “The Proposal,” without the emotional issues, but with the talent and skill. And with Ryan Reynolds. Always with Ryan Reynolds.), but it turns out that editors generally stay in their jobs for years and years and years when they get them (which was what I was planning on, so I can’t really blame them), and editing positions don’t open very often. Also, when these positions do open, employers want somewhere between 5-50 years of experience, references of people you’ve worked with (famous authors preferred), and potentially some of your life blood.
So I started a job in Rexburg working at a Title Insurance Company, where basically I wrote, edited, and sent out insurance policies on houses and land. It’s a good job, it really is. Good benefits, fun coworkers (also some bat crazy coworkers that might be moonlighting as terrorists, but what office job DOESN’T have those? I mean, have any of you seen The Office?), and really surprisingly flexible hours for an 8-5 job. But it was just so….easy. And I was so, so bored.
One fine day I was complaining to my dad about the usual small list of things: I didn’t know what I was doing with my life, I felt unfulfilled, life wasn’t challenging, I wasn’t learning new things, what was the point of even existing (you know, your standard tripe for a quarter life crisis), and he suggested I think about grad school.
Now, it is very important to understand that when I finished college in July I swore a solemn oath that I was done with schooling. It wasn’t that I didn’t like school—I actually thoroughly enjoyed college. I love learning and I thought that the social aspect that came with college was incredible! I just wanted to be done. I wanted to move into the work force and start making a change.( Also I wanted my weekends free. I have really, REALLY enjoyed that about graduated life. Hikes. Sleeping in. Watching Netflix. Trying new recipes. Never, ever doing homework. It’s the only way to live guys.) But I wasn’t making a change –not even a little, tiny one – so I quietly took back my solemn oath (this is why you just don’t make solemn oaths guys [oaths, sure? Solemn oaths, that’s a negative]. It’s hard to take back something you proclaimed so loudly without some certain family members [I don’t know, like brothers…] throwing it back in your face) and started looking into different graduate programs.
Here I ran into a problem (I’m so good at running into those. If it was a category in the Olympics I would medal. Maybe not gold, but definitely silver—bronze at least.); I didn’t particularly know what to get my Master’s in. I didn’t want to go into Education, because I’m really not patient enough to be a teacher. Plus I have a really hard time hiding my disdain when people say dumb things. I blame my father for learning that particular trait. For the same, aforementioned reason, I couldn’t go into public service and work within the city government. I didn’t want to get my MFA in writing because if you do that your two options are to teach or become a world famous novelist. We’ve already canvassed the fact that I wouldn’t be a particularly good teacher, and quite frankly, if I’m going to become a world famous novelist, I don’t see the point in going to school for it. Lots of famous novelists didn’t.
So I was stuck. And sad. And resigned to live a boring life wherein I slowly lost all my intelligence to an IQ-sucking job where I never made one iota of difference in the world. Enter coworker Janel.
(This is Janel. She's one of the great ones, not the bat crazy, terrorist ones. She's also the one on the left. You know, the one that's not me.)
She and I were casually sitting at lunch one day, talking about how I wanted something more with my life (because you can pretty much guarantee I was sharing this particular problem with just about anyone who would listen without looking like they wanted to kill me), and she suggested I become an attorney.
And I laughed. Oh I laughed.
And then I thought about it. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. Law has a lot of variety within it, and if you pass the bar (big “if” folks. Check back in with me in three years for the answer to that one. Unless the blog has somehow disappeared in three years. Then assume I didn’t pass it and I wanted to hide that particular shame from all of you so I just quietly deleted my blog.) you can move into whatever sort of law tickles your fancy/whatever sort of law will hire you.
There’s criminal law, medical law, family law, estate law, corporate law, I mean, the list goes on and on. For someone who can’t quite seem to settle on a career (a fact I think might also be genetic….) it could be the perfect solution. Law school itself would utilize a lot of the knowledge I gained during my 4 years as an English major, I’d be back to trying to make something of myself and my life, this path could really put me in a position where I could make positive changes (well, I’ll think they’re positive changes. Someone else might hate me for it, but what can you do? Some people also don’t like Nutella, so clearly we can’t make everyone happy.) and I would get to put “Esquire” after my name. (I won’t even tell you how much of a draw that was over some of the other reasons because I think you would all judge me. I kind of judge me.) Not to mention, I would be getting a doctorate in 3 years instead of 4, and my dad always told me to work smarter, not harder. (There’s also the added bonus in the fact that if I do well I could stand to make a lot of money. Not that I’m a mercenary soul or anything, but I kind of am. [But really, who can honestly say that they don’t want to make enough money so that they can live comfortably and maybe visit Europe a couple times? Or every year. You know, whichever happens.])
So I decided on law. I wasn’t sure about it at first (because I am a veritable PRO at making a decision and then second guessing the crap out of it), so finally I had a little chat with my Heavenly Father (who is very patient with me) and I just kind of said, “Okay, so here’s the deal. Law school. Fun stuff. I’m just gonna kinda go for it. Run until I hit a wall, that sort of thing. If it’s wrong, well, please make me slam into that wall at full speed, because if it’s a gentle tap I’m never gonna figure it out.” (I’m very formal when I’m talking to a deity aren’t I? I’m telling you, it’s a really good thing God has a sense of humor.) And so far there’s been no walls—in fact, there’s been a whole lot of open passageways. So that was it. That’s how I stumbled into where I am now, and I couldn’t be more excited! (And nervous, never forget the healthy dose of nervous that’ll keep me on my toes for the next three years.)
I don’t know what the future holds for me. I don’t know how I’ll like being a lawyer or how I’ll like going back to school (after the oh so noteworthy absence of one whole year…) or if this will be the magical pill for what I’ll be when I grow up, but I can’t wait to find out!
I guess I’ve been lawyered.
(Heaven help me, I WILL find a good way to incorporate that phrase into my signature if it kills me.)
