Halfway There and Definitely Livin' on a Prayer

Not halfway through law school (unfortunately), but halfway through the first semester! See, this is both a good and a bad thing. It's a good thing because I'm halfway through and I'm still alive (although after a pretty serious bout of food poisoning that I'm still recovering from, the alive portion of that statement is questionable). It's a bad thing because this means I'm steadily inching towards finals and I don't know that I really want that to happen. I mean sure, I can't stop it, but I want to. (Except I don't want to because without finals I can't graduate, and I really want to graduate.)

The really nice this is that at this point, all of the classmates are really starting to bond together. At the beginning of the semester there was this kind of nervous energy and we were all on our best behavior, trying to impress each other -- or at the very least trying not to make complete fools of ourselves. Now, somehow, eight weeks into it, we're family. Of course, part of that could be because we see each other literally more than we see our families. It is hours a day we are at that school, people. (Although, really, it seemed like the time was much more productive before we became friends. Now we talk and study. Before, we used to just study... Now I have to hide in different places in the law school if I want to finish my Contracts reading or get ahead on anything. All my classmates are just too fascinating to ignore.)

Trial Ad just finished last week, and that was a delight. Trial Ad is essentially a mock trial that 2nd and 3rd year students can put on and compete against each other. First years can't actually compete as lawyers (because we know nothing) but we can enter as witnesses, which is what I did because it's a fascinating experience. I was lucky enough to get on with an incredible team of attorney's and we actually made it all the way to the finals, which they proceeded to win.

Seeing what actually goes on in a courtroom was kind of crazy intense though. It's so formal. And you have to ask the judge permission to do anything. And you always have to stand. So much up an down, it's got to be great for your thighs. I imagine it's much like anything else though, the first couple of times you do it you're nervous and full of fits, but the more you do it the easier it gets. I used to think that I could never in a million years do litigation, but now I'm thinking maybe I might. There's a thrill to being in the courtroom, you know, there's just this adrenaline that gets pumping and the heart gets racing and you have to be prepared for absolutely everything. I love the idea.

Of course, there are so many career paths that I've been introduced to since school started that I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do. The nice thing is that options abound, and who knows? Maybe one day I'll have my day in court and I can lawyer the world.

They Knew we Would Want to Kill Ourselves, so they Gave Us a Break

There's a magical thing in law school -- it's called Placement Break. I mean really, I don't know if it's just BYU that does this or if it happens across the board, but it's actually one of my favorite things of all time.

What they do, is they get you about six weeks into school, you know, when you're feeling all shades of helpless, exhausted, and idiotic, and then they give you a week off. It's like drinking from the fountain of living waters. And you think that maybe I'm exaggerating, and maybe I am a little, but guys, you don't even know.

I haven't been ignoring this blog for the last six weeks because I just got bored of it. It's not even because law school is kicking my trash. It's because law school combined with life is kicking my trash. They talk to us all the time about balance, about doing school but still having a life and so that's what I've been trying to do. It turns out that there's where the challenge actually lies. Wanting to have weekends and still pull good grades? Wanting to go to birthday parties and still understand what's happening in the cases? Wanting to see the sun occasionally and still create an outline? That's the struggle people.

Although the real struggle may actually be that I think my sense of humor is failing. Not failing in the fact that it's leaving, failing in the fact that it's becoming so lawyerized that it's just not even funny anymore. Now I make jokes about torts versus tortes. (One's a pastry in case you didn't know. The other one is a class that I may or may not fail, we'll see in a couple months.) Now, when I read a case about a house being built on unstable soil and it falls apart, someone will say something about a foolish man building his house upon a rock and I laugh for days. (Although, in all fairness, that isn't a lawyer joke that I'm laughing at. That's a Mormon joke compiled with a lawyer joke. It's doubly not funny.)

But then they give me a week to recuperate. I have a week to breathe, research, read cases, write memos, update my resume, apply for internships, create outlines, draft cover letters.....

You know, I'm not actually sure if this is a week off.

I think they've lawyered me.

(But guys, fall is here! Colors and joy! Pumpkins and apple cider! It's all I love!)

You Tortfeasor

There’s no excuse for my behavior. I mean, it’s completely unacceptable. It’s been over a month. Ages. A lifetime to some small animals and insects. I’m ashamed.

But a lot has happened!

I mean guys, I’ve officially started law school now. I mean, officially. It’s real. There’s not really a whole lot of going back (I mean, even if I wanted to the loan funds have been disbursed so, it’s kind of a done deal…)

The good news is, so far I’m loving it! Orientation was last week (which I wasn’t going to initially count as school starting, but there was homework, so it counted. Anything with homework counts) and it was a little long, with an absolute flood of information, but it was good.

I met some of my classmates, not all of them (although I definitely have met more than I remember the faces of) and they seem pretty great. I mean, at this point it looks like they’re pretty much all geniuses and I’m not actually sure what I’m doing here, but maybe I’ll figure that out in time.

So the classes I’ve been assigned for my first semester are as follows:

Legal Writing and Research

Torts

Contracts

Property Law

Lecture Series

Professional Development

Professional Skills

Which sounds like a lot (or at least it did to me), but the last three are only once a week, so it’s not too bad. And the lecture series (which I’m pretty certain will be my favorite class) doesn’t even have homework. I literally go and sit and listen to people talk about various law professions for an hour. Which is absolutely perfect, because I have no clue what I would like to do with my life yet. I’m really hoping that I figure that out in three years or so.

I have learned so much so far though. I mean, I only remember about 1/3 of it currently (and that might be a bit of a generous estimation) but it’s all fascinating. Of course, some of what I’ve learned is what a whole slew of people already knew before coming into school (for instance, a tort is just a wrong, and a tortfeasor is someone who commits a wrong. Did you know that? I didn’t. I’m totally using ‘tortfeasor’ as my next new insult though.), but I’ll catch up.

I think that so far (based off of, you know, one days’ worth of information) Contracts will be my favorite class, which was a bit surprising because I was totally pegging Legal Writing and Research for that, but who knows? Maybe I’ll flip flop it later on. I think I’m allowed to do that right? I sure hope so.

I know this is random and crazy and short and chaotic, but that’s kind of how I feel about my life in general right now. Don’t worry, as I learn more, I’m sure they’ll get worse. Huzzah!

I’m only three years from being able to lawyer someone!

Let the Countdown Begin

Guys. Guys. We're officially at less than a month.

I mean it.

One month from yesterday is when my first day of orientation is. I'm terrified. You know, in that kind of excited way.

(Also, in case you were curious, I totally have valid reasons for not writing for almost a month. I mean, first there was 4th of July [which was incredible. I hope yours was too. I would post pictures but someone I look like a spaz in every single one of them...so I won't.], and then there was Girls Camp [which, for those of you who don't know, is a week in the summer when a bunch of 12-18 year old girls go up in the mountains with minimum adult supervision to learn how to survive and hike and feel the spirit whilst being surrounded by bears (at least in Idaho. I never had bear warnings on my Girls Camps in Utah...).]. Girls Camp was amazing, but I also didn't have my phone with me so, no pictures there either. Which is a total shame because we hiked to the Darby Wind Caves and they were beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.)

Oh! I did have the exciting adventure of blowing not one, but two tires on my trip to Utah for the 4th! Luckily, my friends I had driving with me were very understanding and patient as we waiting for someone to drive up and bring us more spares...

They were so delightfully goofy that they almost made it fun! I mean, as fun as sitting by the side of a freeway for three hours can be...

And as I was driving back to Idaho from Utah on the night of the 4th, I had the chance to see a pretty dang beautiful sunset over my mountains.

(Don't worry, I basically didn't get into an accident at all taking these pictures while the car was in motion.) But seriously, every time I get a little sad about leaving Idaho (because Idaho is stunning and I love it here) I remember that Utah has my mountains, and I get a little giddy on the inside. I love my mountains.

Okay, but back to business guys. Less than a months! Things are getting real now! I actually have a schedule, I've registered for classes. It may be the worst schedule ever (seriously, having someone else pick what times I go to class is very hard for me. I like picking my own classes. Sigh. Just one more year, one more year and I get to arrange my schedule. It will be my mantra) but it's a schedule, it finally exists! I have a book list! (And absolutely  no more money left in my savings. There's another thing to take note of all you potential law students out there -- law books? Freakishly spendy.

I move to Utah in less than two weeks. I start a new life in less than a month!! Is anyone else out there getting so stoked?! 

Keep your eyes and ears posted for my very exciting first practice commute/test run from Salt Lake City to Provo. I'll be taking a train and who knows? I might get lost. If anyone could do it, it would be me!   

Adjusting My Mind Set

Should I be worried that the reason I haven’t written in, you know, the last month is because I haven’t done a single law-related thing in that time?

I think I should be worried.

I’m worried.

Maybe I should post some pictures to temporarily take my mind off the worry.

I really just can't get over how cute these new parents are. And obviously tired, but I can't blame them. Kids are exhausting, bless their souls.

We had a big family reunion last weekend and as part of our activities, some of us opted to go to baseball game.

My family loves baseball.

I mean, we really love it. We train our kids young to love it too. 

Of course, part of the joy of baseball is to eat the food. The ridiculously overpriced, but tastes like nothing else in the world because you're eating it at a ballgame, food.

And gloating when you get to call "deuces" first. He cheated by the way. That's why he looks so pleased with himself. 

And a couple weeks prior to the game, I got to meet up with these lovely ladies and some others who are unfortunately not pictured to go camping for a weekend!

Isabelle, who will be a vet someday, caught this bullfrog entirely on her own. With bait she picked up from around the campground and a fishing pole she made out of stick... She's pretty dang impressive. We named the frog Jeremiah. Because, well, Jeremiah. He was a bullfrog. 

Sigh, at least if I utterly fail law school due to my incompetency and lack of preparation, I know I’ll always have a fun (albeit slightly crazy) family who loves me. That’s nice.

Oh, wait! I have learned something! Whew, okay, that’s good because now I don’t have to worry about completely bombing the next three years of my life and getting into thousands of dollars of debt for nothing. That’s a relief.

BYU hosted a law school luncheon a while ago, and while I couldn’t actually be there because I live and work in Idaho, they streamed the video for us to watch later. That was nice of them. And I did learn things, so many good things, from that video! (They’re hosting another one today, that I also will not be able to go to, but hopefully they’ll stream that one too. It’s all about how to survive the first year. I NEED them to stream that one…) Anyways, back to what I learned, because I learned stuff. I learned about how I shouldn’t allow law school to take over my life completely. I learned that I need to find a way to have balance. I learned that I probably shouldn’t be in this just for the money (and I’m not, although I would be 100% lying if I didn’t say that it’s a factor, because it is. I want to travel to Europe someday, so sue me. Except don’t, because I’ll be going to law school and I’ll beat the socks off of you in court. Hopefully.). But mostly, I learned that study groups will be my saving grace. 

This whole idea is a bit of a struggle for me, because by and large I don’t like study groups. I definitely hate group projects, and I’ve always kind of classified study groups into that whole genre of schoolwork. I know that it isn’t accurate, it’s just what I’ve always done. Throughout my college career, I generally preferred to grab some burritos from Taco Bell (the kind that you immediately regret the second you finish the last bite because you know you just shortened your life span by about 15 minutes, if not longer) and sequester myself in some hidden classroom, where I would stay for the next 1-5 hours, working and studying without a single interruption.* Apparently I can’t do this in law school. Apparently that would be bad for me and probably overwhelming, eventually leading me to ostracize my family and have some sort of psychotic breakdown.

So, despite my feelings about study groups, I decided to shut up and learn more about them. And I have learned that study groups shouldn’t be more than 6 people (for maximum help and friendship forming) but nor should they be less than 4, because then there’s not really enough people to make it super effective. (There’s kind of a fine line there.  Especially since 5 is generally such an awkward number, so you’re pretty much stuck between 4 or 6. Although that’s me, just making a judgement about the number 5. Maybe 5 would be a great thing. I’ll keep you posted on that.)

This means that I need to spend the next 8 weeks (it’s only 8 freaking weeks away people. I’m dying over here! So nervous. So very, very nervous.) getting used to the idea that within the first month of law school, I will need to either form or find a way to be part of a bomb.com study group. The comforting thing is, if I find a good one, not only will my life be easier, but I’ll have a close-knit group of friends to see me through the next three years! The bad news is that if no one wants me to be a part of their study group, it probably means that I’m a failure at life and no one likes to study with me because I really can be a little bit insufferable.

Just thinking out loud here, but is it a bad thing if I scope out my classmates the first couple of days and make intense judgments about whether or not they’re intelligent enough and their personalities are good enough to ask them to be a part of a group? That’s a bad thing isn’t it? I should work on being less judge-y. Man, I have a lot to work on in the next 8 weeks. Sigh.

Alright, enough self-pitying! I’ve got things to do! I’ve got greatness to achieve! Stay tuned friends, because sometime in about 3 months from now I will have a study group. I will follow the advice of those that came before me and I will be a part of something bigger than myself. And it will be great. Or no one will want me and I’ll come typing to you about it in tears. Either way it’ll be a treat. Because no matter what happens, I will still be on my way to becoming lawyered.  

*I would just like to note that I wasn’t anti-social in college. I did lots of things, with lots of people and I made some absolutely hysterical memories that I wouldn’t trade for the world. Grades were just always more important than people. Well, most people.

A Correction on English

I know it's been a while (again) but I have a fantastic reason (again). This one. 

Aren't they just one of the cutest families you've ever seen? They're just so happy and perfect and I love it! Little Alida is getting cuter by the day and Trey and Pam are loving being parents. 

We even talked Trey (who is the most protective father I've ever seen, in a super cute way) into a game of Frisbee Golf with her. I think he mostly agreed because he knew he could beat me in an absolutely spectacular fashion.

And my dad got to play his all-time favorite pinball game -- The Addams Family. To some, pinball is a leisurely pastime, to my father it is an art. I think his record for longest game is over an hour. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. He gets very intense about it. 

And of course I got to see some of my fabulous sisters. And I do love seeing my fabulous sisters. We get even more fabulous when we're all together if you can believe it!

Anyway, down to business. (To defeat the Huns...)

It has recently been brought to my attention that my rather cheeky statement in my blog byline about English being a “useless degree” could very easily offend some people—in fact it has offended as least one that I’m aware of. It might have offended more.

Now that I’m aware of this tragic occurrence, I want to take this opportunity to set the record straight that my flippant byline is meant to be just that—flippant. I feel like the vast majority of people who know me (who, honestly [despite any of my dreams to the contrary of becoming rich quickly because my blog gets famous] are the only people that I ever presume will read this blog) know that it must be meant sarcastically because they know how much I love the English language. They’re the people who know firsthand how insufferable I can be to listen to at times because I will go on and on about the plot of some book and how it really speaks to so much more than just a generic story if only they would take the time to read it properly, when really all they wanted me to do was say “Oh sure, I can pass you the potatoes.”

But there are people out there who don’t know me (a horrible loss on your part I must say) and you aren’t yet aware that I’m absolutely proficient in sarcasm and that roughly 82.7% of what I say should be taken worth a grain of salt. (In your defense, if you’re getting to know me through my blog it would probably be very hard to know this about me. Sarcasm never comes across as well via writing. I’ve lost many newfound friends due to the sarcastic nature of my texting. Well, not many. But one or two.) To all of you I would like to formally say (with not a hint of sarcasm whatsoever), that English is NOT a useless degree and I loved every second of getting my Bachelors.

At this point, if you do know me, you’ll probably guess that there’s a list coming on (I am so very fond of my lists) and you would be right. So here’s a list of reasons, in no particular order, of why I loved getting my English degree and why it is, in truth, a very useful degree.

1. It taught me how to critically think. There’s nothing like a professor staring you straight in the eyes and asking you in front of the entire class what you thought of “A Rose for Emily” to make you realize that saying “It was weird,” just isn’t going to cut it. I’ll be the first to admit that I have been guilty of over-analyzing a story and probably putting meaning into it that the author never intended, but at least I know how to analyze things now. I don’t take things at surface value anymore and I don’t blindly believe what I’m told. This has potentially made me much more annoying to deal with, and I’m sure my parents are glad that I waited until after I was out of the house to learn this particular skill, but it’s also made me more intelligent and I’m so glad it’s a skill I have.

2. It taught me how to admit that I am (occasionally) wrong and that there’s no shame in that. Or even to simply admit that I don’t know. To me, it used to be the worst thing in the world to be wrong (it still doesn’t feel great. I don’t like it.) or to have to tell someone that I didn’t know an answer. But it’s okay. Being wrong is, sadly, just a part of life. There are so many things that I would have sworn my life on, only to find out years later I was completely mistaken (the most embarrassing of these moments involving some incredibly wrong intel concerning a boa constrictor. If you ask me some day and I really like you I’ll tell you the story. I would have to really like you though, because it makes me look like a complete idiot. Not that that’s too hard to do…). But I learn new things every single day, and sometimes those things force me to acknowledge that I was dreadfully mistaken, and that’s okay. 

3. It taught me that it is okay change my opinion. Sometimes the new information I discover makes me realize that I don’t believe something as wholeheartedly as I once did. More and more these days I wait to form an opinion until I’ve fully researched an issue, but alas I was not like that as a child. I was a pretty dramatic youngster (there’s a shocker eh?) and I formed strong opinions as soon as I heard one half of one side of an issue. And then (because I hate admitting I’m wrong) I would defend those opinions to the death, no matter how ridiculous I realized they were. But I don’t do that anymore. If someone brings up a valid argument against my opinion I’ll look into it. Maybe I’ll change my mind, maybe I won’t, but at least I can admit that it’s as valid as my own opinion is. (And for someone as egotistical as me that was a hard lesson to learn.)

4. It taught me how to write. You’ll never be worse off in your life if you know how to write well. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve talked to prospective employers and had them tell me that they automatically throw out resumes and applications that are written poorly. When I was sorting through applications at my old job, I did the exact same thing. The way that you write portrays a certain image of yourself, and if you regularly confuse “your and you’re” or “there, their, and they’re” people notice—and whether or not you like it, they judge. It doesn’t matter if you absolutely hate writing and just do the bare minimum to get by in life, you should still be good at it.*

5. It taught me how to argue. Which is not the same thing as how to critically think. Thinking just got the thoughts sorted around in my head, learning how to argue made them come out of my mouth, if I was lucky, intelligently. There were quite a few times that I would say something offhand in class, not really thinking about it as I said it, only to have my teacher require me to defend my position, right then, right there. Sometimes my teachers would agree with me. Sometimes we would argue (in a friendly, snobby, literary type of way). My first two years of college I got thrashed in pretty much all my arguments, but my last two I started to notice a trend—I didn’t do well in all of them, but I did well in most of them. And even if I didn’t change the teacher’s mind one iota, there was at least a small amount of respect in their eyes when they told me to sit down and shut up. 

6. It led me to some fantastic literature, both new and old—in two senses of the words. Guys, I got college credit to read books I loved. I read books written in 2015, I read books written in 1000 A.D. I read books I had never read before and I read books that I hadn’t read since I was ten. I mean, I generally had to do a lot of things with the books or about the books after I read them, but still—sometimes I felt guilty about getting college credit because I was having such a good time in class, which is how it should be! There were very few classes I didn’t look forward to every day, and that’s saying something.

7. It led me to some fantastic people. Some of the best people I know today are people I met through the English/English Education program. 

People like Brooke (and her husband who, while not an English major, often studied with us and he was also hilarious. And really good about throwing out random facts that I will never forget. Oh the things I learned about mantis shrimp studying with Zeb).

And people like Michelle. (Her husband is also a delightful soul, but I've never studied with him, so I can't honestly tell you how he is as a study buddy. I'm sure he's great.) I'm very proud to tell you that Brooke and Michelle and I (and a few other equally delightful souls) were part of the Shakespeare Dream Team. And someday I will find a way to put that on my resume. 

These people are caring, witty, fun to talk to and be with, and (best of all), they also shudder when someone else says “funner.” We spent SO many nights together in the library, researching Shakespeare or Marxism or editing rules while eating pizza and drinking chocolate milk. (Which is a fabulous combination by the way. If you’ve never tried it I highly suggest you do, post haste.) Some of those nights I really didn’t want to be there (usually the nights that my other friends were going hiking or to the dunes, or just the nights that I no longer wanted to be in school at all), but most of the time it was just amazing. We played hard, we worked harder, but we laughed hardest. I wouldn’t exchange those friends or those memories for anything.

8. It led me to some amazing teachers that taught me about so much more than just the English language. I know lots of people think that their department has the best teachers, but mine kind of just wins hands down. There are quite a few different personalities in the English department, from the “angsty teenager” (albeit a lot smarter) all the way to the “wise man on the mountain,” each one taught me something different. 

Kip Hartvigsen would be the wisest man on the mountain. I swear there isn't a thing that this man doesn't know. He amazes me. I just wish I could find my absolute favorite photo of him that we snuck during class, but it's hidden in the recesses of my digital world somewhere...

My teachers were kind, loving, ruthless, and tough all rolled into one bundle. They weren’t afraid to rail on me in class and point out my flaws and how I could do better, but they also weren’t afraid of praising my work. (They also weren’t afraid of kicking me out of class if I made too many Journey references in a 5 minute span during class, but that’s a story for a different day. [But just in case you’re wondering, it’s actually super easy to make at least 6 Journey references in a 5 minute span, and that’s not even trying to force the conversation—they all flowed perfectly.]) 

I mean, not to name names or anything, but Eric d'Evegnee does have the distinction of being the only teacher in my whole life who has ever kicked me out of class. I don't know why he hates Journey so badly, but I do love exploiting it. Of course, if he knew I was posting this picture he'd probably find a way to go back and fail me in a few classes so my degree would be null and void...

But best of all, I knew my teachers cared about me. They cared about my grades, but they also cared about my education, my happiness level, and my life. They taught me almost everything on this list, but they also taught me how to grow up, how to serve without giving too much, and how to live my life in a way I can be proud of.

9. It taught me how to let go of things I love. “Murder your darlings,”* is a quote that pretty much every single English major on the planet is familiar with. (Of course, it’s meant in the terms of revision and not actually killing the people you love, but the gist is somewhat the same. I know that depending on the day and time, I’m far more attached to things I’ve written than people I’m related to…) There comes a time in every writer’s life when they have to slash a phrase, paragraph, chapter, what have you, that they love, that they are connected to on a spiritual level. Their life won’t actually be whole if they take out this piece, but they know they have to in order to make their writing stronger. (And if you think I’m exaggerating, go talk to some writers.) They have to let go of something they love. And it hurts. And it sucks. And life won’t ever actually be the same. It will be better. This is an incredible lesson, not just for writing, but for life. Sometimes you have to let go, and you don’t want to, but you have to. And once your do your life is better and you’re stronger.

10. It made me very popular around finals time. And sometimes midterms. And I know what you’re thinking: “That’s not popularity! They’re using her!” Well you’d be wrong. It’s only using me if I don’t get free Jamba Juice out of the situation, and I almost always got free Jamba Juice out of the situation. But seriously, it is such a benefit to your friends come time that they need to write those essays, and what benefits your friends usually benefits you at some point too. 

11. English is a fantastic jumping off degree, and if you’re not certain what it is you want to be or go into, it’s hard to go wrong with English. I still don't know exactly what I want to do or be in life. I'm really hoping that law school is the answer, but maybe it won't be. But when I was looking up different graduate degree programs, I was amazing at how many I could go into with my English undergrad. (Not really anything medical -- missing a lot of the pre-reqs for that.) Even if I would have had to take a few more classes to be qualified, I knew that I could do it. I can be anything I want to be, because I have the talents and the skills to learn new things. English gave me confidence and it honed my ability to learn. With English as your undergrad, there are a plethora of different companies that will employ you as a grunt worker and then teach you the ropes and let you slowly climb up the ladder, because they have confidence in you and what you can do. 

I could go on and on, I really could, but at some point you’d stop reading and I wouldn’t really blame you. My point here is that the English language is incredible and complex and no one (who uses English as their primary language anyway) would waste their time if they learned more about it. I changed my degree three times before I settled on English and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without my English degree, and I happen to be very fond of who I am. I very most likely wouldn’t be on my way to law school right now, and – even if I was – I wouldn’t be nearly as prepared to tackle the challenge that I’m sure law school will be. Getting my Bachelors in English changed my life—and it’s a change I’m daily grateful for.

*I would like to take this moment to make a small disclaimer that this blog should NOT be taken as solid evidence of my great writing skills. The level of editing and re-writing that goes into this blog is not nearly as high as the amount that goes into anything I would ever turn in for a grade or a job. This blog is just supposed to be fun for me (and hopefully at least a little bit for you as well), so I don’t stress too much about it. Oh, and this blog is supposed to get me rich. That too.

*Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch

Things Pinterest has Taught Me about Law School

So, being that I start school in just a little over 3 scant months (holy moly time flies, doesn't it?) and I still have pretty much no clue what school will have in store for me, I decided to do some research. It seemed responsible.

After asking a few current law students and former law students I started to get a general gist of what I was in for. Phrases like "hate your life," "no life," "forget you ever knew about something called a sun," "plan on missing family moments," and "I actually really love the challenge" (I know, you weren't expecting that one were you? At that point, neither was I) became pretty commonplace in my Facebook and text conversations, and -- while I was, and still am, super grateful to all of these people for taking the time to talk to me -- I decided I should broaden my research and find new avenues of information.

Obviously teachers would be biased. Plus I'm not comfortable enough with any yet to just shoot them a witty, yet surprisingly insightful email full of questions. So I turned to another option -- a website that would be sure to give me a wealth of information, from a veritable smorgasbord of viewpoints: Pinterest.

And here is what Pinterest has taught me about law school.

1. There will be a thing called Blackacre. And apparently I should just add it into my Word dictionary now, because I'll be typing it. A lot. (It's something to do with property law and that's literally all I currently know about it. Perhaps I should type it into a real search engine....)

But really, almost every pin I saw about Blackacre involved it burning to the ground. I wonder if this is literal, or just what every student wants to have happen to it...

2. As a former English major, law school will be hell.

I imagine this has something to do with the fact that I've spent the last four years learning how to streamline my writing into something that is at once beautiful and concise (clearly I didn't learn that lesson too well), and now I need to make it repetitive and very hard to read. Dang it. Might as well forget those last four years...

3. Law school will be easy!

Just as long as I've mastered riding a bike on and through fire. It's now on my summer bucket list.

4. However, while law school may be easy -- I will apparently no longer have weekends.

But that's okay. I don't really have a life anyway. In fact, I just LOVE studying for hours on end and spending all my free time hunched over a computer doing my best imitation of the Hunchback of Notre Dame. 

5. But! On the plus side, going to law school will apparently give me full license to Tony Stark eye roll over what other people say -- and I do enjoy doing a good Tony Stark eye roll.

6. There will never actually be a need to admit that I'm wrong. I have to admit, I'm very excited about this one. I don't like admitting that I'm wrong anyway, and now I'll be better equipped to argue why I'm right. Or at least, not wrong.

7.  There will come a day when jokes like these make me laugh and giggle uproariously, while my family looks over at me in mild concern.

I'm very much so looking forward to that day. I think it'll mean that I've arrived as a law student. A real one.

8. Law school is essentially Hell. Several pins have confirmed this. 

But that's okay. I've been living in a veritable icebox for the last four years, so a little heat will be a nice change of pace.

9. I will have the absolute best response if I start dating someone and it starts to get serious.

It's called fishing for compliments. Except now it'll be called doing my homework. Yes!

And finally,

10. There's no chance law school will make me lose my sense of humor.

It will just add to the hilarious things I can say. I gotta tell you, this one really relieves me, because I can handle anything -- even three years of hell -- if I can laugh my way through it.

Thank you Pinterest. Without you I wouldn't know half of what I now know, which is still very limited. You have lawyered me. 

Bonnie’s Official List of Classics to Read, to Avoid, and, well, the Ones I Don’t Have an Opinion on Yet

Lists of classics and books to read about on the internet. I mean, you basically aren't even literate if you haven't read this list of the 238 greatest books of all time. Or something like that. (I by the way, haven't read all 238, so you could probably discount this list because it mostly means I'm not literate.) This post also has nothing to do with law, but it does have to do with English and my deep love of literature, and that's what led me to law, so there you go! And, because there was list after list of classics to read, I figured someone should make a list of classics to read and a list of classics to avoid, because -- let's be honest -- there's quite a few of those as well. 

So, without any further ado (but with a plethora of promised interruptions), my list of classics!

(As an FYI, these lists have no order of favorite to least favorite or anything – it’s simply the order they came into mind. Also, I already know I missed a bunch in all categories, so if your favorite classic isn’t here, don’t feel slighted. The odds are super high that I also love it.)

Classics to Read, and sometimes (when I felt like writing a paragraph about it) even why! (I will not feel like writing a paragraph about all of these. Just warning you now. Okay, now that it’s all written I can tell you with all certainty that I will actually write a paragraph for all of these. But some paragraph will be shorter than others. Like,  a sentence long.)

1. East of Eden by John Steinbeck. Now, I’m not a huge Steinbeck fan (in fact, this will be the only Steinbeck you see on this whole page. I’m not enough of a hater to put him in the avoid list, but nothing else he wrote made it onto the read list either…), but I love this book. I love it a lot. It’s very lengthy, so get ready to settle in for the long haul, but the parallels that Steinbeck makes in this book, both as to the story of the Garden of Eden and the parallels he creates from Part 1 of the book to Part 2 amaze me. I think it’s written so well.  I think the big point he ultimately makes in the end is beautiful and it’s a fascinating journey to get there. 

2. Persuasion by Jane Austen. This is my favorite Austen novel, which has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it’s the shortest, because my second favorite is Emma, and that’s her longest. It was her last full-length novel that she published before she died and I think her writing style was more mature and something that I, personally, really enjoyed. Also I just love the idea of second chances. Honestly, all Jane Austen’s books are on this list for me. I love them all. But, if you only have a time to read a few, or you read one or two and it’s not your cup of tea (see what I did there? Cup of tea?) I would recommend them in the following order: Persuasion, Emma, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Northanger Abbey, and Mansfield Park.

3. The Princess Bride by William Goldman. This book is hilarious, super well written, and pulled a few literary stunts that were unheard of before it was published. As an added bonus, it’s SUPER quotable. And you can picture Peter Falk reading you the whole thing.

4. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery. These might not be for everyone, but I loved them. They are not, as Thom once said, simply about a “spaz who lives in Canada.” It’s true that there’s no huge, overarching plot, or terrifying twist or serious action – it’s just the story of someone’s life and I think that’s incredible. Even if you don’t read all 8, read the first one or two. They’re worth it.

5.  Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. Okay, Lewis Carroll is a SUPER clever writer, but this book isn’t as nearly as funny if you don’t know the timeframe very well. What makes this book so great is how many of the poems and stories of the day Carroll mocked and how well he did it! So, if you’re going to read this book, find me and borrow my annotated version that has the original poems, songs, or stories alongside his satirized ones – it makes it so much better.

6. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Atticus Finch. Enough said. (In my personal opinion, this book is the great American novel and The Great Gatsby can shove it.) (Also note, do not read Go Set a Watchman. It’s not a sequel, it’s not nearly as good and I can rant about it for at least a solid 30 minutes if you’ll let me.)

7. Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare. I can feel the judgmental stares here, but it’s really a good play! I didn’t think so when I read it at 14 either (really, there’s no reason that freshman should be reading this play. Like, ever.), but when I re-read it in college I loved it. It’s so much more complex than I gave it credit for and I love how it really is Juliet’s story more than anything else. Plus there’s a ton of symbolism and it’s fun in the fact that the more you look for, the more you will find. Shakespeare is kind of bomb.com.

8. Other Shakepeare. But not all other Shakespeare (if you note in the classics to avoid, Shakespeare makes it there too…). Because he wrote SO many plays, it was just inevitable that some of his plays would have plots that are incredibly similar to each. For instance, Comedy of Errors is basically the lite version of Twelfth Night, but there are a bunch you should consider reading, such as Twelfth Night, Hamlet, Much Ado About Nothing, The Tempest, Othello, Midsummer Night’s Dream (I guess…), Macbeth, As You Like It, and Merchant of Venice.

9.  1984 by George Orwell. He was good at writing depressing things. And there are a lot of reasons to avoid this one, but the way he chose to end it really struck me as an interesting commentary on human nature (and scarily, probably a pretty accurate one). Plus, Orwell was writing dystopian novels before it was cool, so he should probably be given some credit for that.

10. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain. I thought this book was hilarious. I know it’s a lot more than hilarious, but Tom Sawyer just cracks me up. He gets into a lot of trouble, but you have to admit that he’s an ingenious kid. And he might have more life experience than I do.

11. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. Slavery. What’s right and wrong? Can it be that sometimes what you’ve grown up with your whole life is just wrong? You know, that kind of fun dilemma. Twain was also one of the first people to use dialect the way he did. It’s super frowned upon in writing now, but it was revolutionary at the time.

12. The Odyssey by Homer. My dad has officially started piping in on this list and he’s just appalled that I didn’t include The Iliad, but I’m not going for a historical list. I’m going for a literary one. If you’re going to read The Odyssey, which I obviously recommend, read the translation by Robert Fagles. I personally think it’s the best one.

(It looks like this -- just in case you want to buy it from Amazon or something.)

13. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. When does man go too far in his attempts to make his world a better place? Where is that divisive line of where God is and man should not attempt to go? Probably shouldn’t try to build a person, just a thought…

14. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. It’s so good! It’s long. It’s super long. And the language is a little bit flouty at times, but it’s so good! The movie is the roughly the first 1/3 of the book and then the last ten pages. Kind of. Man, if you ever thought revenge was the way to go, read this book. It’ll totally change your mind. It’s so good.

15.  Charles Dickens, in general. He’s a little (a lot actually) wordy (I mean, even wordier than I am!), he’s a little preachy, but not to the point where you just feel like you’re being hit with a proverbial moral brick to the head. Plus, he’s preachy about thing I can get behind, like no child labor and making factories safer, and really awesome issues of his day. He did get paid per word, so that was a problem, but his characters feel so real to me and when I delve into his stories I truly think I’m in a different world. Some I would specifically recommend off the top of my head are The Pickwick Papers, David Copperfield, A Christmas Carol (which is really just a short story, but so worth it. In fact I think I like it better because it’s a short story), Great Expectations, Bleak House, and Hard Times.

16.  Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. I think this story is phenomenal. I love that it’s simply the story of the life of a family, of these four girls and the journey they take throughout life and how they navigate the challenges that life presents, yet hold together as a family. I wish I could be as graceful as they are sometimes…

17. The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde. I love Oscar Wilde. He is just one of the funniest, most egotistical, conceited, yet talented authors that I’ve read. In fact, now that I think about it, Picture of Dorian Grey isn’t even his best! (Although it’s still great.) An Ideal Husband or The Importance of Being Ernest. Go read those too.

18. Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. Okay, so it’s not any big secret that Lewis wrote this whole series as a religious metaphor and he’s not even a little subtle about it, but it’s still amazing. I love Aslan (who doesn’t?) and the world Lewis created is incredible to me.

19.  Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux. Phenomenal book – but it will totally change the way you think of the Phantom if you’ve only seen the movie. I mean, I’ve seen the movie and I love Gerard just as much as the next girl, and he makes it impossible to hate the Phantom (or to think of him as ugly), but this book? The Phantom is the WORST. Awful. You kind of just hate him, but it’s written so well!

20.   The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Talk about people being able to transform. The journey that each of these kids takes is so powerfully written, and how they are all able to help change each other for the good is incredible. It just goes to show what a powerful influence good friends can be. 

21. Edgar Allen Poe. Just, Poe. Specifically his poem “Anabel Lee” and some of this stories featuring the detective, Dupin. Guys, Poe had some issues for sure, but he was INCREDIBLE! He basically invented the short story, and he also created Dupin way before Sherlock Holmes was a thing. Dupin was the inspiration for Sherlock Holmes. How cool is that?

22. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontё. This book was also revolutionary for its time, and it’s a little long, but if you can get past that it’s great—in my humble opinion. (But of course, all of this is my humble opinion so…take it as you will.) I also love that, despite everything she’s been through, Jane never loses her moral compass and she always does the right thing, not matter how hard it is. That’s impressive to me. I’m not quite there yet…

23. Les Miserablѐs by Victor Hugo. But for the love of all that is holy, do not get the unabridged version. It’s not worth it. It’s not better. Get the abridged version and save yourself hours of unnecessary torture.

Classics to Avoid, and why!  

1. Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontё. Words can’t even begin to describe how much I despise this book. To me, personally, there is no redeemable quality to it. Okay, that’s harsh. There’s one or two. It is an excellent story about how NOT to live your life and a great example of the type of relationship you should never settle for because it’s just straight up bad for you. Heathcliff drives me up the wall. He treats everyone absolutely terribly and yet women are falling all over him, vying for his attention and love. The women are insipid (that might also be a smidgen harsh too…but they’re not great) and willing to submit to any sort of bad treatment in order to get attention. Terrible role models for you and for your daughters. 

2. Lord of the Flies by William Golding. I’m really okay with depressing books, but this isn’t just a depressing book. It’s a depressing, awful book. I mean, it is a fascinating commentary on what society could devolve into if it was a bunch of boys with absolutely no real governing power, and I don’t even think it’s that far off, but I just….I hated reading it. It made me sad and depressed and angry all at once.

3. Ernest Hemingway. I know this is totally just personal (as is, well most of this list, but especially 3 & 4) but I can’t stand Hemingway’s style. He has one or two short stories I like, but by and large I don’t think your life is any worse off by completely avoiding him.

4. William Faulkner. See above. He did really streamline the whole “stream of consciousness” type of writing, so props to him. But he’s stupid hard to read, and what you ultimately get out of it is not worth the effort of what you’ve put in.

5. Moby Dick by Herman Melville. This might in fact be one of the most boring books I’ve ever read. The writing is dull, the characters are written so thin you can almost see through them, and the only living creature in the entire story I wanted anything good to happen to ever was the white whale that was supposed to die. It does show that an obsession can rule your life completely if you give it that power though. Props.

6. Shakespeare’s Histories. They’re just boring. Very, very boring. And very much so catering to the royalty of the time. I mean, Shakespeare was British and I suppose if the queen didn’t like his plays she could make his life miserable, but man, the way he re-writes elements of history to make the British monarchy look phenomenal is just, well, it’s something. If you absolutely are dying to read some, try Henry IV, Part One, Henry IV, Part Two, and Henry V. Fun fact: that awesome speech in Independence Day that Bill Pullman gives to rally his people into going to fight the aliens, is a Hollywood version of the St. Crispin Day speech that Shakespeare wrote for Henry V. That particular speech is VERY good.

7. Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe. I mean, it was pretty revolutionary for its time, but today it’s just pedantic and high-handed. A whole lot of white, Christian man saving the natives happening in this story. The real title of this story is The Life and Strange Surprizing Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, Of York, Mariner: Who lived Eight and Twenty years, all alone in an un-inhabited Island on the Coast of America, near the Mouth of the Great River of Oroonoque; Having been cast on Shore by Shipwreck, wherein all the Men perished but himself. With An Account how he was at last as strangely deliver’d by Pyrates. I’m not kidding. That’s the full title. And if that doesn’t warn you off reading this story, I don’t know what will. First of all, the entire story is completely given away by the title—you even know the ending! Second, apparently Friday didn’t count as good enough company, since, you know, he wasn’t a white, Christian man. So yes, Crusoe was all alone, minus Friday, who did almost all the chores….

8. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. Why this has been considered a classic for years, I honestly do not know. It’s about this creepy, perverted older guy who is obsessed with this 12 year old girl, and how his obsession defines and ruins his life. That’s the plotline, except I’m sparing you a lot of unnecessary and super weird detail. You’re welcome.

9.  Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. So, SO slow. And so political. And so moral. I mean, I am not against authors trying to make a political or moral statement, that’s totally their prerogative, but mine is not to read it. Especially when they don’t even try to cover their statements with a semblance of a plot.

10.  Life of Pi by Yann Martel. I mean, it wasn’t atrocious or anything. The symbolism was nice (if a bit high-handed and breathing down your neck a little), but it was just so… lackluster. I mean, when I got to the end I was just relieved it was over. There were one or two points where I thought “Oh, that’s a super amazing paragraph!” but I don’t think that’s worth a whole book.

11. My dad has again piped in and says not to bother with Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert or Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck. I’ve never read either of them, so I can’t definitely say anything but a) I trust Dad and b) I’ve heard of both of them and never had the desire to read them. So that’s got to say something.

Classics I Didn’t List Because I Have Yet to Read Them and Thus I Have No Formed Opinion

1.  Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy.

2. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger.

3. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller.

4.  Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.

5.  Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson.

6.  The Time Machine by H.G. Wells.

7.  Paradise Lost by Milton.

8. The Screwtape Letters and Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.

I do want to read all of these books at some point, along with just about thousands of others, but I haven’t gotten around to them yet.  I’ve heard that The Catcher in the Rye isn’t worth it at all, but I still need to read it, if nothing else just so I can say I have.

Contemporary Literature that Would Become a Classic if Bonnie had Her Way (Although We Live in a World Where ‘Selfie’ Got Added to the Dictionary, so Who Knows What Will Happpen?). 

1. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green.

2. The Road by Cormac McCarthy.

3. All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr.

4.  The Help by Kathryn Stockett.

5. Shane by Jack Shaefer.

6. Midnight’s Children by Salman Rushdie.

7. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak.

8. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern.

9. The Giver by Lois Lowry.

10. Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. Ha! That was a joke. J I know. I’m hilarious.

Of course, there’s a slew of classics that aren’t mentioned here. They generally fall into the category of “Well, I read it and I didn’t hate it, but I also didn’t love it enough to put it on a must-read list.” Examples of this are books like The Great Gatsby, Dracula, The Scarlet Letter, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, and Gone with the Wind. 

And these books are all how I cultivated my love of literature and the other worlds and places they can take me too. They're all (even the ones I hated in their own way) a part of how I got to where I am today -- which is on my way to being lawyered. And lawyering others...

Actually Taking the LSAT (aka Loads of Sorrow and Tears)

Ah, the test day. The day you’ve been waiting for and dreading, but mostly the day you just want to be over. It’s here. And here’s what to do and what to expect. Roughly. If you have a mind anything like mine. Which, for your sake, I really hope you don’t. Mine is a bit scatterbrained.

The first thing (and this is very important—potentially the most important thing I’ll say today) is that you need to have a friend who is willing to get up at 6 am on a Saturday, drive to the next town over to buy some of the most delicious scones in creation, and then drive back so they can surprise you with breakfast. This is essential for creating the right testing atmosphere straight from the get-go. I happen to have such a friend, and they’re very important friends to have (not just for the LSAT test day, but for life in general).

(This is Catelyn. You'll probably see a lot of her on this blog because I'm immensely fond of her. Also because she's freakishly awesome and does oodles of cool things and I inevitably end up living vicariously through her. She's pretty much the world's best person. Someday you all will love her almost as much as I do.)

If you don’t have such a friend, spend time after all the hulabaloo of the LSAT is over looking for one, and in the meantime make yourself breakfast. It’s the most important meal of the day J Also, testing rules say you’re allowed to bring snacks with you and you should totally utilize that, because it turns that out that sitting in a chair for hours on end and doing nothing but frying your brain and filling in bubble sheets will still make you hungry.

When you get to whatever testing center you’re going to, pretty much everyone is going to look nervous and a little scared. Everyone that is, except for that one kid who has a seat right at the front because you know he got there a solid hour ahead of time, and he just looks super bright-eyed and bushy tailed, and very, very determined. It’s important that you never get in this kid’s way in life. Ever. He will be succeeding at everything he does, and you just don’t want to mess with getting in the way of that.  If you are that one kid, congratulations. I’m proud of you. You’ll do great things in life! You probably skipped breakfast to get there that early though, and that’s bad. Or you cheerfully got up at 5 and you have a kind of willpower that I will never know.

So, after you’ve all gotten situated and have had just enough time to psych yourself out that you are going to epically fail, the test starts and the proctor gives you your time warnings and you’ll kind of get in the zone and, honestly the first half of the test flies by. It’s the second half that makes you start looking into various forms of suicide.  

Halfway through your delightful 5 hours of testing, they let you have 15 minutes to stretch, eat, go to the bathroom, etc. Of course you can’t leave the ordained area and you’re not allowed to discuss the test in any way, shape, or form, but you get a break. This break murdered me. At first I appreciated it, because it is really nice to stand up after sitting for so long, but if your mind is anything like mine, once you have a break from something horrific, it’s really hard to go back. Getting my mind back in the zone was incredibly challenging and section 4 was the section I did the worst on. (Hands down. I mean, it’s not even like it was a close call or anything. My percentage of right answers drops drastically in section 4. It was kind of sad. You know what was even more sad? Section 4 wasn’t my test section that didn’t count for anything. That was section 3. Which I aced by the way. Of course.)

The moral of that paragraph?

Don’t Ever Let Yourself Get Out Of The Zone!

Know full well that you’re going back into that room and brace yourself for it. Make your brain cooperate with you. (This is also why it’s so important to build the stamina during the practice tests. And maybe take a 15 minute break during the practice test. I never did that. Look where it got me. I mean, I’m still going to school and all, but I could be going to school with a higher LSAT score!)

During your break, you and the other testees will be idly chatting (about everything and anything besides the test of course. The proctors watch you like a hawk during your break. Don’t think that they don’t.) and you’ll begin to notice a slightly fuzzy, yet solidly divisive line between you. A rough 40% of you will be calm, collected, somehow looking even more refreshed after 2.5 hours of test taking than you did before. They’ll be laughing and joking during the break, looking suspiciously like the poster children for the covers of LSAT prep books across the nation. Another 40-45% will look just a little bit like mildly well-groomed drug dealers. They’ll be ignoring all the pleasant small talk. Usually you can identify them because they’re staring out windows and calculating how easy it would be to force the window open and jump, all while anxiously biting their nails and pacing back and forth. The other 15-20% of you will be somewhere in that middle ground, trying to figure out where exactly you fit between the Rico Suaves and the Pablo Escobars of the world.

I, unfortunately, fell a little more towards the drug dealer percentage of test takers. While I wasn’t biting my nails (it took me years to break that habit and there’s no chance I’m going to let a paltry thing like a life-changing test weaken me), I did have a hoodie (since they ARE a comfort clothing item and I DID leave my house at 7:00 on a very, very chilly December morning) and a messy bun (and I’m not talking about the cute messy buns that some girls pull off. I can’t quite figure that out. I’m talking about the messy bun that looks almost identical to a rat’s nest) and small talk absolutely wasn’t something I was feeling capable of. I did smile a lot. And nod my head kind of inanely. A few people were looking at me like they were a little worried about my mental state, but let’s not go into that…

Regardless of which category you fall into during the break, once the test starts back up again you all meld into the same faceless ball of anxiety (minus the perky soul up on row 1), racing toward the finish line.

And then you’re done. Just like that you’re done! The proctors shoo you out the room (actually it’s more like they try to organize chaos as people stampede out of the room) and tell you you’ll get your results in a month (which is just their own form of cruel and unusual punishment).

Now, once you’ve finish your test, there are several options for how to spend the remainder of your day:

Locking yourself in your room with a pizza and Netflix is a very, very good one. It’s not one I chose, but it’s one I would have chosen hands down did I not have prior engagements.

Going out with friends (or spouses or significant others or family or whoever you have nearby that you love who also loves you) who are continually telling you how smart you are and how well you did is another. (Just make sure your friends have the stamina to keep up the phrase, “No, [insert your name here], I KNOW you did amazing! You did better than everyone else in that room. I bet you’re the first person to have gotten a 180 on that test!” repeatedly for about 2 hours.)

A third option is to aimlessly wander around the building where you took the test, reliving every single detail and wondering how you could have done better. But I don’t recommend that option.

Whatever you choose, be proud of yourself. You just took a killer test and you survived! You didn’t even just survive, you probably excelled. You’re basically bomb.com, and you’re well on your way to becoming lawyered!