It's Been 1L of a Year

Okay, I know I've made that joke so many times, but seriously I can't stop myself. I think it's so funny! And this is probably the last time I'll get to use it. There's nothing great about 2L that I've thought of yet.... Anyway....

Once upon a time, I had a dream of regularly maintaining this blog as I went to school. What a laugh. What a dream. I didn’t realize at the time how much graduate school is different from undergrad. People tried to tell me, and I honestly did try to understand, but I think it’s something you can’t ever fully comprehend unless you go through it yourself.

Take law school for instance. Law school is hard and easy and fun and miserable all rolled up into one giant ball. And as much as I can try to explain it to you, you’ll never really understand it unless you’ve been there. Which, I mean, basically makes this post completely redundant, but don’t think that will stop me from writing it. If there was one thing about being a lawyer I was already good at before I started law school, it was redundancy.

It’s honestly hard to remember all of the last year. It’s hard for me to really know what I knew before I started school and what I didn’t. I know I’ve learned things and I know I’ve forgotten things, but I’m not sure where that line is. Law school and all of its facets has become so much a part of me that I don’t actually know all of the parts of me that have changed. I just know they’re there now and maybe they weren’t before.

But without any further ado (because really, I think we can all agree that the first three paragraphs were nothing but ado), here is the nutshell version of what I learned throughout my first year of law school*:

Your Class Truly Becomes Your Family
I mean, for eight solid months, you see them almost every single day, somewhere between six to twelve hours a day. And they are the only people in the whole wide world who truly and honestly know what you're going through, because they're going through it too. And some days you love them so much that you don't really know how you can express it without looking like a crazed and deranged stalker. And then some days you feel like you literally cannot stand the sight of them and the thing you need most in the world is a break from these people. But at the end of the day, you know these are your people and if push came to shove, you would do anything for them. Because they're family.

It’s Kind of Like You’re Back in High School
But with a lot more freedom than you ever had while you were actually in high school. See, the downside of seeing each other every single day is that the drama and gossip mill starts up fast. Which, you know, depending on the day really isn't a downside; it can be quite entertaining. Especially if you're not actually a part of it. But you're always in such close proximity to each other that it's almost impossible to pull yourself away. Human beings are naturally curious and as soon as the shock and terror of school has worn off, the conversation naturally turns to who is dating whom, what person overreacted in class, and how on earth we could have possibly missed the fact that such and such person was the recipient of such and such scholarship. It's completely high school and it really bothers some people. I personally chose to be entertained, and, knowing full well that people were talking about me just as much as they were talking about everyone else, I did my best to ensure that they only had the nicest of things to say about me. How well I succeeded I have no clue, because they don't gossip about me around me (I know. Rude, right?)

You Have No Clue What You’re Doing for the First Two Months
But really. Law school was a very spur of the moment decision for me. (Well, as spur of the moment as a decision that requires months of planning can be.) I had no idea if this was what I wanted. I still have no idea if this is what I want. I didn't go to law school prep, I didn't take criminal justice classes. Nothing. There are people in their first year of law school who have been dreaming about orientation since they were eight years old. They took all the necessary political and legal classes, heck, they might even have taken Latin. I was so not one of those people and I had no idea what was happening. I didn't know basic principles. I didn't know what area of law I wanted to focus on. As far as I was concerned a tort was a cake (that's still my favorite kind of torte, in case you're wondering. I know you were). Every single day was like a new episode of Bonnie's Life: Dazed and Confused. And then one day, I realized some of these words actually sounded familiar. Some of these concepts actually made sense. I still have a long way to go, but I saw a light on the horizon. Your brain is remarkably good at adapting to things, even when you think it isn't possible, and your brain will adapt to law school.

Finals Aren’t as Scary as They Sound
Which, I know sounds crazy (especially if you're one of the lucky few who got to hear me complain about them. A lot.) They really weren't though. I mean, I'm not saying I enjoyed them by any stretch of the imagination. I don't think anyone enjoys going and sitting down for three hours to type non-stop about everything you've learned over the last four months, but they weren't that terrifying. Honestly, I think the scariest thing for most of us was that we weren't really sure what the test would look like because we'd never taken one before. But it's just questions (or maybe one question, depending on your teacher) and you just type. You just do your best to take what you learned all semester long and use that to answer the question. Just like any other test. What I hated most about the test was that those three hours determined my entire grade, but that's just a product of the law school system, it's nothing against the final tests in general.

Your Non-Law School Friends Will Beg You to Stop Talking About Law School
Because it will become everything you do. It will become what you eat, breath, and think. You'll start saying phrases like, "That's accurate." or "That's not accurate." to every sentence that someone says to you. You'll start comparing everything that happens in their life to something that happened to you at school that day, or some 400 year old law that you just learned that somehow, amazingly enough, applies exactly to their situation. Usually you'll see this happening, and you'll do your best to stop it, but it's like your tongue has taken on a life of its own, completely separated from your brain. Law school just comes out. All. The. Time. You'll be just as exasperated about it as your friends are, but it's like a disease and it just doesn't go away.

You Won’t Really Have that Many Non-Law School Friends Anymore
Largely because of #5. No, I'm just kidding. Hopefully you will still have non-law school friends, because it's vital that you maintain some kind of balance, but law school friends will become some of your best friends. They'll be the people you want to argue with (seriously or facetiously). They'll become the people that you vacation with, laugh with, dream with, relax with, and just exist with. Part of this is because, like I mentioned before, they get it. They get it all and there's something very comforting about that. Part of it is because you inherently think the same, that's why you all decided to go to law school. Part of it is that familiarity is a breeding ground for friendship. And part of it is that they're just good people and being around them has a tendency to make you better. (Plus they think your law jokes are funny, or at least understand why they could be, as opposed to normal people who look at you like you're off your rocker when you start laughing hysterically at something you just said in Latin.)

You Need a Support System
Law school is mentally and emotionally exhausting and some days all you want to do is give up. Actually, maybe a lot of days that's all you want to do. And you need someone to pick you up, brush off the crazy, give you a hug, and firmly shove you back toward the arena that is law school. Support Systems can take many shapes and forms. For some it's a spouse. For some it's siblings or parents. For some it's classmates or church friends. It doesn't matter who they are as long as they work for you. This last year, I truly don't think I could have survived without my family. They attempted to laugh at my jokes, they called me out when I used the phrase "accurate" more than three times in one sentence, they celebrated my successes, cried through my failures, and encouraged me when I didn't think I had an ounce left of intelligence in my brain. When I graduate in 2019, it will be just as much their victory as it will be mine.

Really and Truly, You're as Busy as You Want to Be
People say law school is busy, and I mean, of course it is, but honestly? Life is busy. And the sooner you accept that, probably the better off you are. I'm really pretty certain that, after you've graduated from undergrad (and maybe not even then if you're already married and having kids and whatnot during your undergrad) there is never really a time in your life when you don't have a list of things to do that's about a million miles long. It's just all about how you prioritize it. There were people who were at the law school from sun-up until way past sun-down. There were people who were at the law school for classes and that was it. There are people who were involved with four different extra-curricular clubs and groups and there are people who weren't involved with any (which, I do feel like I should strongly recommend against. You should at least be involved with one. Not only is it good experience, but employers seem to like it for some reason...) The truth of the matter is, you'll still find time for what is really important to you. I still bake. In fact, I'm 99.9% positive that baking is a lot of what helped keep me sane. I still work out. I still Netflix. (Granted, I Netflix while I work out, but that's just good planning on my part.) I still see my family. It is possible to have a balance. It's easy to let law school overwhelm your life and say you're too busy to do anything else, but you'll prioritize what you want, and you'll be as busy as you choose.

You Need Time Off
Once a semester, the law school gives us a week off of classes. This is time to interview with firms and companies. It's time to research where you want to go and who you want to work for. It's time to catch up on reading or maybe (in a blessed world) get a little ahead. But it's also time off. It's time to see your family, to get outside of the state. It's smack in the middle of the semester and it's incredibly vital to your mental health. It's a magical week. But that doesn't have to be it. I, personally, did my absolute best never to do law school work on the weekends. Sometimes I had to. Sometimes that made my weeks sheer hell, but by and large it worked for me. I needed to know that I had two days (maybe sometimes only one) where I didn't have to worry about classes and homework. I could focus on other things in my life that were just as deserving and I could take a mental step away. It's vital and you need it.

The Hardest Part is Re-Wiring Your Brain
It isn't the reading. It isn't the individual concepts by themselves. It's the fact that you have to teach your brain an entirely new way of thinking. That's not incredibly easy, FYI, or really that pleasant. I'm still not really sure if I'm there. You have to teach your brain that it can no longer take anything for granted and it has to question everything and push every envelope and search in every direction for an answer that hasn't been thought of before. It's exhausting. It's hard to do. But they tell me it's worth it. And it is what makes JD graduates so very hirable. The fact that we made it through law school means we know how to think, analyze, assess, and push. Tons of people get their JD and then never take the bar to become an actual lawyer. They simply go on to work in business or non-profits or they create something completely new. It's an incredible education and it's an amazing gift and tool for your brain to have. But getting there kind of sucks and there are a lot of moments where you just feel stupid. They say it's worth it in the end though. I'll let you know in a couple of years.

Last, but not Least, Your First Summer Might Actually be Far More Time-Consuming than Your First Year of School
Which I personally didn't really think was possible. The thing is, it's probably not that it's actually more time-consuming, it's just that it feels that way. The really great thing about school is that aside from your actual class times, there are very few times when you absolutely have to be somewhere at some specific time. So, while there is a lot of studying and work to be done, you pick when it happens. If you have to slip out to get something done in the morning, you can. If you have to run an errand and then just stay at the school later than usual, you can. But during your summers, you're back to a fairly normal working life. That means that from roughly 8-5 (or longer depending on who you are and where you're working) you're on someone else's time. And you have to fit everything else in your life in the wee morning hours or after you get home. No longer can I just zip home to make sure dinner in the crockpot is going well. No longer can I hop out for a quick second to go grocery shopping or take a long lunch with a friend. My time isn't mine anymore. And it changes everything. Now, I fully understand that those who are in school live a blessed life as far as scheduling goes and that this is a really good wake-up call for those who have never been a part of the work force, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. It does make the concept of setting your own hours look very appealing. Just sayin'...

 

Law school is incredible. It's a crazy fast whirlwind of a ride that changes your very being. It's also fairly expensive, so I can't recommend it for just anyone, but at the same time I think it's something that almost anyone could benefit from. I still don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing or where I want to end up, but I've loved this last year. I haven't completely found myself, but I'm a whole lot closer than I used to be and I have law school and law school classmates to thank for that.

Here's to the last year and to the next two to come! May we all survive and keep our sanity.

*The following list is personalized to me and I can in no way, shape, or form guarantee that everyone will learn and experience the same things in their first year of law school that I did. **

** Do you see what law school has done to my brain? I never would have done an amended liability clause before this. I’m simultaneously ashamed and proud.